


Could We Have Changed It

by Lady_Fantasmic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU where Lotor didn't show up in time, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crying, I hate the title, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Langst, Season 4 Spoilers, Sorry Keith, but i needed to cope with this season, i'm not okay, keith is dead, lots of hugging, post-season four, season 4, they all have a cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 08:52:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Fantasmic/pseuds/Lady_Fantasmic
Summary: Naxela was going to explode, they were all going to die unless Keith did something, and so he did...-Now the paladins are left with the aftermath of Keith's decision, they're alive,but he isn't-Lance remembered the way Matt’s voice cracked, and the way the team sort of just stopped.  There was crying, he knew that much, maybe he’d cried too, but it was all sort of foggy after that.  All he could think was he's gone, he's gone, he can’t be gone, no no no NO NO.





	Could We Have Changed It

**Author's Note:**

> so season four fucked me up. It was great, but i cried at least once an episode, and episodes 2 and 6 wrecked me, hence this thing that i wanted to write because i keep thinking about "what if Lotor hadn't shown up". Keith was READY to die and i can't handle that.

Keith’s jacket didn’t fit him, not that he expected it to, not that he would ever wear it outside this room, but it still _felt_ like him and so Lance slipped it on anyway.  The room was cold and unused, lacking anything that would identify it as Keith’s, but Lance still felt drawn to it, drawn to the room the former red paladin occupied.  He sat heavily on the bed, eyes unfocused, mind somewhere else.  He still couldn’t believe it was real.

He couldn’t believe Keith was actually gone.

Lance still remembered it, the battle for Naxela where they had almost lost the entire coalition, almost lost Voltron - _did_ lose Voltron, if he were being honest.  They hadn’t been fast enough, but the bomb never went off either way.  There was a moment where Lance thought that things were okay, that everything had turned out alright, and then they heard Matt’s voice over the comm.  _its Keith he- he broke the shield but… guys Keith’s gone._   Lance remembered the way Matt’s voice cracked, and the way the team sort of just stopped.  There was crying, he knew that much, maybe he’d cried too, but it was all sort of foggy after that.  All he could think was _he's gone, he's gone, he can’t be gone, no no no NO NO._

The Blade weren't even sympathetic, sure they gave their condolences, but ‘its a war, and the lives of the many outweigh the lives of the few’ and Lance wanted to scream, wanted to hit things, wanted to have Keith there next to him to calm him down instead of his paladin armor laid out on a bed of strange alien flowers - there wasn't even a body, it wasn’t fair.  People mourned for days, and a part of Lance, a small irrational part of him that ate away at his insides, wanted to be mad at them.  What right did they have to cry over him, they didn’t know him.  He knew he was being stupid, and that Keith deserved to be mourned properly, that he deserved to be alive _stupid self-sacrificing-_

Now, sitting in the room that hadn’t been used in months where no one would look for him, Lance could cry.  He was an ugly crier, he knew, and he curled up on the bed hugging the too small jacket tighter around his frame, and he cried.  Lance cried for the boy who had anger issues, he cried for the boy who didn’t understand his jokes but could make them all laugh anyway, he cried for the boy who was the best pilot of their class.  Lance cried for the boy who gave his all for a war he never should’ve been a part of, he cried for the boy who didn’t believe himself good enough to be a leader.  He cried for the boy who reassured him that he mattered.

Lance cried for the life that Keith couldn't have anymore.  

Hunk and Pidge found him sometime later, eyes red and puffy, and without saying anything the three of them huddled together in the bare room, because none of them really wanted to be alone when their thoughts kept going to places too dark for them.

Shiro was the next to join their huddle.  Lance thought he looked more tired than he’d ever seen him, but he accepted the invitation of open arms and a place under the blanket - Keith’s blanket.  Maybe it was the paladin bond, maybe they all just _knew_ , but none of them had to speak to know they needed each other.

They all dozed off at some point, but woke up to the door opening and Allura and Coran standing there with the mice, trying to smile but the tears betrayed them.  

“My paladins.”  Allure's voice was choked with emotion, and they joined the group, and they were together.  

And they talked.  They talked about Keith, shared stories about him and about how good he was.  Shiro told them about Keith when he was little, and they laughed so hard they cried.

“I wonder if there was something we could’ve done.  If there was a way we could’ve saved him.”  Pidge said when they lapsed into silence.  They were leaned heavily into Hunk’s side, glasses long gone because it wasn’t worth it to keep cleaning them.

“I don’t know.  I’d like to believe there was, but somehow that makes me feel even worse, like there was something we didn’t do, and thats why he’s…” Hunk said quietly, his sentence tapering off because he couldn’t say it.

“I think that he knew what he was doing.  I think… he chose this, and he wouldn’t have done it any different.”  Allure was cocooned between Shiro and Coran, arms reaching to brush against Pidge and Hunk, and legs pushed agains Lance, as if she felt she needed to be toughing all of them, making sure she hadn’t lost anyone else.

“Maybe, but I wish he’d have said something.  We didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Pidge whispered.

“If he’d said anything we’d have tried to stop him.”  Shiro said, reaching out for their hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

“Of course we would have, somebody always had to stop him from running headfirst into danger.”  Lance said finally, a small laugh leaving him as he thought back to the times he had to physically stop Keith from running straight into the fray.

“He saved a lot of people doing what he did, we can’t fault him for that.” Coran, ever the understanding one, piped in.

They were feeling better, and decided to move to the common area, where they could properly spread out blankets, nobody really wanted to be alone.  Lance was the last one to leave, he lingered in the room, Keith’s jacket once again hung up on the hook on the wall, but his blanket was draped over Lance’s shoulders.

“I wonder if it hurt, crashing.  I hope it didn’t, i guess i hope it was quick if anything.  You didn’t deserve to go out alone, we’re Voltron,” he laughed, “if we go out, we were always supposed to go together, ya know?  I know its only been a few days but, will it ever get easier?  Having you not here?  Probably not.”  Lance wanted to feel weird, here he was talking to the empty room of his rival turned friend, but he could almost pretend that Keith was there listening to him.  Almost.

“Anyway, the guys are waiting, so i’m gonna… go, i guess.  Miss you.”  Lance turned to go, and if he felt the brush of a hand across his back, well it was probably his imagination.

**Author's Note:**

> So i've read a couple, but i am also planning on writing my own version of what happens after episode six, where Keith gets yelled at and cried on by Lance, who hugs him and never lets go because THIS BOY ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF, so look out for that sometime soon.


End file.
